Grenades at the root of a tree

The Lord, He is God... God, my God, You are God. That was all I could process. That was all that was left after God lit a grenade and exploded His wisdom after a sermon. A stadium of 10,000 plus people sat in awe and marveled at the one true God who with grace lavished his glory this weekend on us in so many ways. God advanced so incredibly this weekend that again, I feel bad for taking up so much time talking and I'm afraid I may forget some stuff so I'm writing.

Sitting in a dome with just over 10,000 students and suddenly, the lights dim. All of a sudden a dozen colorful lights, huge speakers, and a stage, even with a bumpin' group of backup singers were jamin'. And I begin to think to myself, "Great... how in the heck is this what christians are supposed to do." We spend so much money on the stage, the lights, and the shirts. Surly this was a waste of money that could have been put to some better use. I held this tight ball of bitterness in my stomach during the whole first set of songs. It's so humbling and at the same time satisfying when God sends you tidbits of his infinite wisdom. Who was I to say this conference was bigger than God. Surly He who breathed the universe into play could use this crazy show of lights for His glory, and that ball of bitterness quickly melted into praise and worship with the most people I've ever worshiped with. To sum up the worship throughout the weekend, it was phenomenal. Not in the sense that Crowder had a good voice and played our favorite songs, but in the sense that I couldn't decide whether to sing praises at the top of my lungs at our infinitely gracious God, kneel and pray and give thanks for this incredible movement of people, or just stand there in awe of a mighty and powerful Lord. Wow. Glimpses of glory come upon us when we don't expect it, and a glimpse of Heaven came upon me. We get to praise this God in his entirety for all of stinkin' eternity! And when you get a glimpse of Heaven your heart leaps and turns towards Him. If that doesn't get you pumped up then you need to figure out who you're praising.

Frances Chan and John Piper were the two mainstream speakers highlighting this weekend event. And I get a little peeved when people tend to idolize speakers. They talk about, “Wow, I wish I could speak like Piper,” and, “man, Frances Chan sure knows how to change people’s lives.” NO! I wanna yell it to their face. It isn’t Chan or Piper who do that. It’s God! Give the Holy Spirit credit! But without a doubt, wherever you go there will people who idolize speakers in that way. Rant aside, Frances Chan is a man who walks with the Lord. I want to love God as he loves God. I want to want to love God, if that makes sense. I know I don’t fully do, but seeing Frances Chan and the joy God gives him is nothing short of incredible. The love he has for other people, wanting them to love God as he loves God brings tears to his eyes. But we can’t force a relationship with someone we don’t want to be in a relationship with. Chan was an incredible encouragement to the kind of relationship I wish to strive for. More than just words and the spiritual high some people say you get at a conference. But a passion I wish to have, that only the Holy Spirit can give me.

God used John Piper to light a Holy grenade and throw it into our lives, which exploded and shook everything up so much so that we forgot what the fuse was. He talked about what is at the root of our lives, which I thought interesting because so many times we talk about what is at the top of our lives. Going through your actions to your motives is what he was getting at, and looking deep into my own actions I see areas in which aren't beneficial. I wish I could go into more detail about his sermon and the way it shook me and helped me, but I don’t feel like I can explain it in words. This has me checking every action I make and tracing it to its source. When Jesus comes into our lives, he cuts out the root of ourselves, and replaces it with Himself to where our joy and our decisions come from Him! Yet, I see areas in my life where He isn’t the root of that decision. What is at the bottom of my Joy? There is so much more that went into the sermon and that specific point yet I’m still in shock of it all.

My thoughts now are, “how am I going to get this done, how am I going to make Jesus the root and joy of my life?” So many people claim that all these conferences do is get you on a spiritual high and when you get back to reality you realize it was all a show on emotions, but who’s to say that God can’t work through that. Who can say that God can't use a giant conference of a ton of people for His praise. He surely did this weekend. Not because of who spoke, or who played, or the money we raised, or the things we did. But through them. Through this conference God moved us, He moved me. I can’t begin to describe how utterly crushed I am by his glory and his love he has immensely lavished on me. I can’t describe it adequately in words, but in groans of praise towards the heavens. I don’t want anything else of this world. It’s dim. It’s broken. It’s running out of time. If I’m not carrying Christ’s name in everything I’m doing then I’m not doing what He called me to do. It doesn’t matter whether I take this path or that path, He doesn’t need me to accomplish His will, but what does matter is if I carry His name with me as I walk in the sunshine and cover in the rain. My heart thumps upon my chest with the love he has placed there, and one day he will meet me face to face and say well done, My son. And I will forever praise him for His grace he has given me. What a glorious day. God, my God, You are God.

1 Kings 18:39 – When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, “The Lord – he is God! The Lord – he is God!

Eden on a sidewalk; waterfalls under a bridge.

So, ever had an experience that was so radical, so big, that when people ask you about it you feel guilty for taking up an hour of their time? This is hopefully my solution. I went to Austin this weekend to get low and serve the side that doesn't get seen, the side that gets kicked off the campus, the homeless. I'm writing a blog so my memory won't fade and that others may share in this one of a kind experience.

Sometimes glimpses of Heaven take you by surprise and you don't realize it till hours later sitting on a hillside thinking back on it. We had served "Street Youth," homeless youth living on the streets near UT's campus. I've grown up blessed with enough comfort that I would have liked, and here I'm put into their turf, living day by day with what the Lord gives them. I'll get to the punch though. Turns out in Austin that week was "Roundup," sororities and frats from all over Texas were pouring in to party. To give context, the street youth guys and the frat guys did not play well together. But, there was a moment, a glimpse of heaven that afternoon. We set up long sheets of paper and set out paint everywhere on the side of a street and literally just started asking people left and right of every kind to come paint a picture with us. People from all kinds (frats, sororities, Hindu people, homeless people, moms, daughters, shop owners, and their dogs) and they all flocked in.




There was a moment when I was standing on the street and I looked back to our mural and the people painting on it and there was a long stretch of section where there were no FLiC members talking and loving on these people. I will admit I snapped. But then I was taken aback, because in that section were two girls covered in paint from an earlier party, a guy, and a homeless man all laughing together, painting together. And for a split second I saw it. I saw community in a way it that God intended to be. This social barrier was broken, people who normally never interact saw each other as the same human being, putting away all the past, all that they had. Loving each other in the simplest of ways, through art. It was extravagant. The way God intended it to be. A garden of Eden in the Middle of Austin on the weekend that it was least expected. God works in incredible ways.

Incredible experience #2


It happened at "church under the bridge," a church for the homeless literally under a bridge in Austin. We were told to go around and "talk" to people and try and open up to them. I was skeptical at first because if I were in their shoes I wouldn't want some well dressed, rich person coming and trying to relate to them when I've literally never have gone through what they have. So what did I do? I stood in the back and watched. There was a man, also standing off to the side, arms crossed, just observing as well. Long story short, I went up and talked to him, we exchanged the ever tiring normal questions and then things got deep. He told me his testimony.

As I was listening I was brought to tears, not because he had been through some horrific tragedy, but because his story, although we grew up in opposite ends of the spectrum, was exactly the same as mine, down to the sibling and her desires. I was blown away. We struggled with the same struggles, we had the same desires, he was like an older me? I was immediately humbled and we talked through life and our conversations got deep. Deep as in Psalm 42:7 deep. God crashed his waterfalls of blessings on me that day through this man under a bridge. His words encouraged me in ways that words cannot fully capture, and Todd (the man) served me. God works in ways that is beyond our comprehension and talking with how he got to be at church that day was a miracle in itself, truly divine. As I was leaving we prayed and I told him that I hoped to see him again someday. Without missing a step he looked at me and said we would. God continues to bless me in the craziest of ways and if you've made it this far down my blog, I commend you. I hope and pray God continues to have these divine encounters in the simplest of ways like people gathering to paint and a man under a bridge. Glory be to God in the highest.

Psalm 42:7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfalls; all Your waves and breakers have swept over me.